Jehovah-Jireh Indeed!!

Have you ever been so amazed with the Lord that it completely exceeds words? Though consistently struggling in a lot of ways, that's where I've been lately. My heart is so full, and I am so grateful. I haven't written because I know I can't explain it. I can't possibly give Him the glory He deserves. What a poor excuse, huh? As if any of us can adequately display the glory of a holy and righteous God!

I want to share with you some of the ways God has provided for my family in the past couple of weeks. I've openly shared our financial problems and my struggle with giving back to God (I know, it's His already!) the tithe that He requires. From the depths of my selfish heart, I sincerely thank each of you who took the time to comment and encourage me on that tithing post. Partly because of you, I can say today that thus far we've been faithful to consistently give back a portion of the income He's entrusted us with since then. And you guys, the blessings have been innumerable!! Some have been financial and some have not, but they have all proven to be "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think."

I long to write emotionally about each of these blessings, but my dear friends, those of you who really know me, know that I would be writing for days on end! So I've decided to share with you in a list type format (I know, thank me later!) the following ways that God and His people have filled me to overflowing with awe and thanksgiving in just the past couple of weeks...

1. I received THE coolest thing in the mail that I think I have ever gotten! It was an encouraging card from an anonymous friend filled with the hope of our Lord and a gift card to Wal-Mart. Hellloooo?? If you are reading this, THANK YOU! I don't think I've felt that happily surprised since I got my first pair of black patent leather shoes as a little girl (yes, I'm still a shoe fanatic!). I can also say that you have individually contributed to my family in a way that I promise you will have a lasting impact. What you gave me was another link in my ever strengthening chain of faith. Wow! May God bless you abundantly for your concern and generosity to this Sister in Christ, and I believe He will!

2. Many of you know that we've been back at Community Bible Church since January. It's where Steve and I were married 5 years ago, and it's the place that God has used over and over in my life to draw me to Himself and cause me to connect with Him in serious, life changing ways. (This is not a slap in the face of FBC by any means. That's a whole different story that I'll have to save for another night!!) Aaaanyway, we got a call from church and were told that another anonymous someone had left a check for us for $150!!! Now, I don't care who you are or how much money you have, that's a nice chunk of change to just anonymously give. If there is any chance that dear spirit is reading, THANK YOU from the bottom of my faith-filled heart...thank you for helping to fill me! Again, a gift that will last much longer than money. Blessings to you, heaps and heaps! (By the way, $150 was nearly the exact amount of tithe we'd given at that point.)

3. Our church has also offered to help us financially, and we have gratefully accepted. Did you get that? Our church offered. We didn't have to ask or apply or request or give them a copy of our budget or prove our crisis. We're not even officially back as members yet, and our local Body is stepping up to help meet our needs! Links, links, and more links on my chain of faith!!

4. Steve received one week of unemployment pay (my gooooodness, if you've ever had to go thru that then you know it's nothing short of a miracle...forget that he was actually out of work for two weeks!).

5. God's grown our childcare family by 2 (both absolutely adorable and pictured in other posts already).

6. We owe my parents about a million dollars. Okay, not really, but it feels like that! They have been more than patient with us, and I can't begin to express my gratitude for that! They are constantly helping out in little ways, too, that I hope they know do NOT go unnoticed. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for living out what you believe.

7. Steve's parents are nothing short of wonderful! I think the greatest gift they've given us in the very recent past was babysitting. We were able to enjoy a (late!) night out together. If you've been through financial struggles, then you know how quickly it can wear on a relationship. I love the ways that God is providing the opportunity for strengthening our marriage through this! Thank you, Teri and Albert, for allowing us to take the time out to be the calm for each other in the midst of this storm. Another gift that goes a loooong way!

8. That night out was also, in a lot of ways, a reunion with some very, very dear friends of ours. I love you both, and I'm forever grateful for the amazing grace that covers us, even binds us together.

9. A personal struggle of mine seems to be falling further and further from my heart as I grow in faith and trust in the One who made me, knows me like no other, and has the ability to fill me in every possible way.

10. GNO with my sister, Lisa! Wooohoo! I soooo needed that. Still reaping the benefits of this one, too! ;)

11. I was able to do some work for a dear teacher friend, and she was able to help me financially. Every time I get to dabble in her world I can't help but wonder if I'll ever get to teach. Aside from earning some extra money, I fully enjoyed shutting the world out for a few hours and playing school! As if that weren't enough, our brief chats were like water to my soul. You know I love you, and I'm grateful for every moment our paths cross.

12. I can FEEL the prayers of His people! There are those who've always prayed for my family and always will. Your reward is in heaven, and my love goes out to you always! In addition, my recent struggles have led me to talk to a few different people that I haven't really had the opportunity to be close to, and I have been blessed beyond words. Thank you for taking the time to walk alongside a lonely sheep.

13. Steve has a job now. It's not a "WOOHOOO" kind a job, but it's a job. He's back at Ingram, in the warehouse where we met 7 years ago. What's funny is that I think, in some ways, we're spiritually back there too. I don't mean we haven't grown since then...far from it! But we're back at CBC, and we're back in a position of what feels like accelerated growth. And, though completely exhausted, I am bubbling over excited about it?! Can you tell? :)

Well, I numbered them in the list format I promised, but I don't think it shortened me by much. Thanks for reading! I am so completely full of God's blessings right now that I could probably continue the list through the early morning hours, but I'd really like to be awake enough to give Him the praise He deserves in the morning. So I need to wrap this up. If I believed in luck, 13 would be my lucky number, so I'll end with that...

Lord, when you provide for your children you leave us lacking nothing. I am so thankful for the loss of Steve's job, so thankful for the circumstance that required total dependence on You! You are so faithful, so good, so loving. You are the healer of my broken, sinful heart, and as I've turned my pain over to you this month I've literally watched you put food in the mouths of my babies. Through the Church, Your Body, I've been held by Your arms, comforted and encouraged by Your words, and brightened by Your joy. I'm amazed, I'm excited. I can't wait to see where you take me from here. I commit to you, and before all who read these words, I'm Yours, I'm going with You, I'm fully accepting whatever you bring my way...for Your glory, Lord!

Praise Him For Today

Today

I've been

puked on, peed on,

kissed on, and hugged on.

I've been

screamed at, cried at,

smiled at, and laughed at.

I've been

the cause, the culprit,

the desire, and the fulfillment.

I've been

a janitor, a chef,

a chauffer, and a mechanic.

I've been

a preacher , a teacher,

a mother, a friend, and a lover.

Tonight

I am

used up, exhausted,

satisfied, and grateful.

Men

Let me just get this out... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Okay, I feel better now.

At Least We Have Each Other

Okay, so this post isn't really about Zach and Brianna. It is about friends though, and I think these two friends are absolutely adorable!

I was having a really rough day yesterday. All the stress of financial things (and other stupid things) was getting to me, and for some unknown reason I had a house FULL of cry babies. I don't know what the deal was, but the kiddos just weren't happy yesterday at all. Busy weekends or something, I guess, I don't know!

Aren't friends just a wonderful cure to the grumpies though? My dear friend Christy came with her little ones for a surprise visit yesterday, and really, just seeing her made my whole day better!! And getting to fiiiiinally play with Maddie again kept a smile on Tyler's face for quite some time as well. He was delighted to find that Radlee is a "big boy" now, too, so he got to see TWO friends. I wish I'd thought to take some pictures yesterday (of the kids, not of me!!), but things were so crazy around here that it never even crossed my mind.

Anyway, I just wanted to send out a great big THANKS to all my friends!! I know that I can be bad (okay, really bad) about isolating myself at times, especially since I'm stuck at home alone with kids all day, but to those of you out there who've loved me anyway, stuck by me anyway, kept on talking to me anyway, thank you from the depths of my heart. I pray God will shower you with blessings, for I'm sure your kindness never goes unnoticed by the One who matters most.

Another Prayer Request

For the family of Rachel Olerud, a 12 yr old who lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I've never met this family, but my heart is completely broken for them. I know a lot of you attend FBC and are already praying, but I wanted to put this out there so others can join us. No such thing as too much prayer!!

You can read Rachel's story at www.caringbridge.org/visit/rachelolerud.

Please pray

To all of those who believe in the power of prayer, please join with me to pray for my Mamaw (my Mom's mom). She's been recovering from hip surgery, and I found out tonight that she's had to go back to the hospital for an additional surgery due to an infection from the first operation. Apparently it was pretty bad, and they are looking at possibly having to go in aaaagain to clean it out. They don't yet have the results from the culture on the infection, so the seriousness of that part is still up in the air.

She's in Mississippi (with most of our extended family on Mom's side), so also please pray that Mom will have peace in making the decision of whether or not (or when) she should travel back down there.

Thank you!!

Hey you

Yeah, you! I've got some cute pictures to share with you!

Here's a good example of the difference between a girl and a boy...

My one year olds are so much fun! They're so dramatic and silly!

And my nearly 4 yr old is so incredibly moody! I love our moments of drama and silliness. We do still have those, too. But he's just so hung up on being a "big boy." He's so stinkin' smart, and I love that about him!! He has even less patience than my little ones though, and I miss being able to take as many pictures of him as I want to! Now he makes it pretty clear when he's over it...in case you didn't notice! :)

Another Devotional to Share

Yep, it's Os Hillman again. If you can stand a quick self-evaluation, take a minute to read...

I have noticed three distinct types of believers throughout my 24 years of walking with Christ. First, many of us come to Christ out of a need for salvation. Our hearts have been touched by His call on our lives. We reason and analyze the claims of Christ and make a decision for Him. It is the convenient time to accept Him in our lives. This first stage is often characterized by a "Bless me, Lord" attitude toward God. It is the first stage that primarily brings salvation into our lives. Some never really go past this first stage.

The second stage is the crisis stage. A crisis takes place in our lives, and we are motivated to seek Christ with a whole heart. However, this motivation is not out of pure love for Christ; rather, it is motivated by the desire to get out of the pain of living. The motivation is to solve "the what" versus "the why" in my life at the time. This stage is best characterized as "Help me, Lord."

In the third stage we begin to experience the gospel of the Kingdom. It is the place where Jesus resided in His walk with His heavenly Father. It is the place of conviction. The number of people who live at this level are quite few, but these people are experiencing the reality of a walk with God that is foreign to all others. They are seeing daily occurrences of His involvement in their lives. They are motivated by a deep love for Him. They know Him. These people have an attitude characterized by these thoughts, "Have me, Lord; though He slay me, still will I trust Him."

Where are you today? Have you merely accepted His salvation to simply float along? Or do you seek Him with a whole heart only when a crisis occurs? His desire is for you and me to live a life of conviction, motivated by our love for Him and His love for us. This is where we will experience the gospel of the Kingdom.
__________________

You guys, I can't tell you how excited I am to be in the third stage today! I can't even begin to post on a blog the kinds of pain He has me in at the moment, but I can share with you that each and every way my heart is aching is continuously bringing me closer to the One who made me. Am I tired of the pain? You bet I am! But am I asking Him to take it away? Not anymore, and I mean that. If it takes pain to know Him, to see His hand the way I've been seeing it, then bring it on! Do you know the Lord like that? Do you count all else loss? Cleeeeaarly I'm not perfectly 100% devoted, ever. I know that. I'm still just a person with a sinful, evil, human heart. But seriously, friends, I love Him like I've never loved Him today, at this moment, in this season of my life...because I know Him like I've never known Him. Have you taken the time to know Him? Have you fallen in love with our Savior?

We've Got Another Cutie!!

How cute is he? Well, the first day he stayed with us, Tyler called him "the cutest baby eeeeever!" I told Ty he wasn't allowed to say that another baby is cuter than his very own baby brother!! :) I'll admit, Nathan's a doll though. I was a little nervous about taking on another baby, but God has blessed us once again with a child who has completely stolen my heart. Nathan is just adorable, and he has got to be the most predictable little one I've ever known! He's not full of patience, and he'll let you know when he needs something...but he's so easy to figure out that it's just no problem! Love it!

I've actually known Nathan's Daddy for a long time. He's the cousin of my forever friend, Amanda. Gotta say, though, it's his Mommy I see in this little guy all day. He and his Mom, Cortney, both have the absolute best smiles I think I've ever seen! I'll have to post one of Nathan's big grins when I catch one. He just figured out how to crawl, so he spends most of his day face down truckin' around on his hands and knees. Hopefully he'll soon find that the world is much more interesting if you keep your noggin up and look around as you travel! Helps you avoid running right into walls, too...well, it helps most people. I still tend to have that problem myself on occasion! :)

How Sweet

Here's Tyler with his new little "brother" Ian.

He's a big helper! :)

Doesn't he just look like trouble?

He's sneaky and defiant...and currently this Mommy's greatest challenge!! And it doesn't help that I apparently have less than half a brain! Well, less than a third of one yesterday. With 3 normally intelligent adults in the very same room, Tony managed to celebrate Easter by slicing his chubby little baby hand open on a metal trash can!!! Hellloooo?! I know, what kind of mother (or other 2 nameless relatives!) lets her kid play with a metal trash can?! Please don't report me! I'm pretty sure it was one of those popcorn tins you get at Christmastime turned trash can. Anyhow, he was pushing it around and fell. The dumb thing popped apart at the seam and sliced him right open. There was blood. I'm not good with blood. Not when it's coming out of my child! And it was enough to drip all over the floor as Steve carried him to the sink so my Dad could cover it with something. Blood. Dripping blood. Blood soaking quickly through the paper towels. I was freaked! Poor little man. I said, "It's okay, Tony. It's okay...OH NO, Daaaaad, it's so NOT okay!!" Yeah, I'm sure I was helping my child feel way better about the situation!

Sooo...we spent a couple of hours at the ER yesterday, without insurance on top of that! Thank God, though, it didn't do any serious damage to his hand. They decided not even to stitch it. They put the medical glue and steri strips on it, and we were on our way. Of course, that has to stay dry and not picked at for 3 days...thus the big club of a bandage we've got him wrapped in!

This is the part of having little boys that's really going to mess with this Mommy. It's not the blood itself that freaks me out. I know some people are like that. But for me, it's the terror that something seriously bad has just happened to my precious baby!

Unfortunately we haven't even paid the bill from Vanderbilt for Tony's last hospital visit, and now we've got another to add to our stack. I'm still so relieved and thankful that it wasn't anything worse, though, that I haven't really bothered to think about that too much yet!!

Financial Dilemma. Please Help...

Don't worry, I'm not posting a request for your money! :) I just need your advice...please! This may show my sad, failing faith in our ever faithful and gracious Lord, and I'm aware that I'm putting my ugly self out there for you to know and judge.

Having said that, here's the problem: if you've been reading this blog then you know we're in a desperate financial situation. And if you know us personally then you know we've been here more times than I feel like talking about, so you also know that we have NO savings to pull from. Here's the cool part...God has provided just enough money to pay the 3 things that HAVE to be paid this week and still buy milk and bread (don't worry, all my parents out there, I have enough groceries around here to adequately feed your children next week!!). If I pay those three things and buy just milk and bread, the money for the week is completely gone.

Notice what wasn't in the list? Yep, tithe. Soooo, there's my question. What would you do? Tithe and trust God will provide from some unexpected place in the coming week? Or thank Him whole-heartedly for providing for our needs, pay the bills, and see what happens next week.

By the way, I don't think I posted about it, but Steve did get a job. He started this week. It's a warehouse, lousy pay job, but it's a job.

Anyway, please be honest and leave us your thoughts. Thanks!!

Making a Fashion Statement

Uh? Who's that?

Brianna awoke from her nap to find a stranger in our house!

He's the newest little addition to our childcare family, Ian Paul Buckley!! Isn't he just adorable?! Ian's big brother, Zach, is my oldest (after Tyler), and he's teaching all the kiddos how to say "baby." The Buckleys are one of the sweetest families I've ever met. I'm really lucky to have their boys here with us! And Tyler is sooo excited about Ian. It's like he's getting to be a new big brother all over again. Have I mentioned that I LOVE my job? I'm so thankful that God has given me this opportunity...and filled my heart with Himself enough to make me realize what a huge blessing it is to have all these children in my life!