The Beauty of Discipline

Since I just know you've all missed hearing from me on my blog (all 2 of you!), here's something special for you...another glimpse into my ugly heart. I'm sure you can just hardly wait! :)

God's been revealing to me, over and over, and in so many creative ways lately just how serious is my deficit when it comes to self-discipline. Being a disciple of Christ happens to require an enormous amount of discipline. Ever notice how those 2 words are ever so similar?! Yeah, that's probably a clue. :)

Steve and I are participating in a family and parenting class in our Sunday School hour this quarter at church. We're learning how to parent from a strictly biblical perspective. We're realizing just how much of who we are and who we've been teaching our children to be is, at best, cultural. It just blows my mind to think how many things we simply accept as true just because it's what we've always heard or how we were raised. It's been a very interesting class, and though I'm pretty sure I'm known all over the church now as the crazy woman who can't control her children, we're learning a lot! And it's slow going, but the Lord is so faithful to bless us when we truly desire to honor Him through obedience. As we obey Him in our parenting, we pray we'll be teaching the boys to do the same in their own lives.

I spent most of Sun morning thinking about how all these little rules we're learning to teach our children really apply to me and my own obedience, or lack thereof, in my walk with the Father. For example, delayed obedience is disobedience. Dang. How often do I put stuff off, you know? And I don't mean years, but just a moment's delay is disobedience. Ouch! And the biggie for me was that if I do what He requires, but I'm kicking and screaming on the inside, then I'm actually being disobedient. Double ouch. I guess somewhere along the way I deceived myself into thinking that as long as I'm doing what He requires then I'm being obedient. I don't have to like it, I just have to do it. He's been showing me in all kinds of ways lately that I really need to be, I guess, more transformed by the renewing of my mind, as we're told in Romans 12:2. So that my HEART is obedient. Sounds like a no-brainer, huh? But there you have it. My loser confession for the week. :)

The beautiful thing, though, is what God showed me Monday as I continued through this battle with Tony. I decided I should try the advice I'd been given in SS, because I've been having some pretty serious behavior problems out of our sweet little 2 yr old. It was suggested that I require him to verbally respond to me when I've given him instruction. I know, that seems like the only logical way to do it now...but I guess we hadn't thought about how powerful it could be. Remember, I'm already known all over the church as the crazy woman who can't control her children, so at this point, who cares if you think I'm dumb, too! :)

So...after about half an hour in time-out and several spankings (sorry if that makes some of you want to have me arrested!), he finally responded to me. The very first time he said, "K, Ma," it was nothing more than a sad, defeated whisper. It nearly broke my heart along with his will. But by bedtime, when I'd instruct him from across the room, he'd walk all the way over to me, get eye to eye, and say with a sweet smile, "Ok, Momma." Each time was a small moment of total bliss and understanding between us! I can't help but think, as I embrace that little guy, how much joy must the Father have when I come to Him with a desire to please and obey, and no matter the instruction I've received, I say with a smile, "Okay, Father." Beautiful. I'm a visual learner, and God knows it! Seriously though, what a beautiful way to teach my heart what my head already knew.