Thank you, those who continue to lovingly nudge me back to blogdom. As silly as it may sound, I NEED this! This is my outlet. It's where I share. It's where I deal. It's my contact with people who are old enough to read! :)
Here's the problem though. I think I'm still stuck somewhere in my last entry. I just can't move on. My heart aches for this guy who has so completely turned his back on the Lord. I'm broken for his family.
...and yet I still cover my ears, ignore my own better judgement, make stupid choices, succumb to laziness and selfish desires. I just want to be more than that. I want to be less so that Christ can be more in me. And I know it's always a struggle to a degree. I get that. We're sinful by nature and all. Maybe I can't explain it. Maybe that's why I haven't written. There's just nothing lovely in me to share right now. I feel like it's taking all my strength just to keep trying to be the woman God desires me to be. Yet I'm not succeeding. Not in any tangible, change the world kind of way. A lot of days I feel like a complete failure in a whole lot of little ways. Like my other identity (the old sinful nature, which really does seem like a whole other me) has won out. Yet I long for more. I can't help but seek God's face. And that's how I know I haven't lost. It's how I know I'm His, and how I gain the strength to try again tomorrow.
Soooo...not the most uplifting way to jump back in, huh? Sorry guys. I'm just really kinda going through a rough spot right now. Your prayers would be much appreciated.
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3 comments:
I understand the rough spots, for sure, lately!
You have my prayers!
You have 'em girl! Just know that God has you in His hands and He will guide you through all the rough spots. They are never easy but they are always winable (is that a word?) :)
I know what you mean Kris and as usual we are in similar spots in our lives. I cant even offer any wisdom or anything inspirational i can just pray and hope that knowing that we both are together in this thing called life and knowing how truly God has connected us and rest in that hope and in that love.
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