Time For a Change

Here's random fact #8 about me...I can't stand for things to stay the same for too long. I guess I get bored. I'm one of those people who is constantly rearranging my furniture and thinking of new things to do with old stuff around the house. So, here's my "new" blog. What do you think? Perhaps it was inspired by the lime green Charger?? Not sure. But I think I needed a brighter view for awhile.

Here's my Charger

Ty and I decided on the Sublime Metallic Daytona R/T. Yep, for real. It's what I'd drive if I could. Tyler said, "Oh, Mom, can we pleeeeaaase get it??" Right, kiddo! Keep dreaming. Maybe one day YOU can get one and drive Mommy around in it! :)

And now for the tag...

Alright, so how many times have I been tagged now?! I don't know! And there's nobody left to tag, so I'm going to have to join you rule breakers and just share with you my 7 random facts. Here we go...

1. My freshman year at LHS, I marched with a flute in the band. That's right, I marched with one. I could play the flute (not amazingly, but I could play it), or I could march...but there was no way this uncoordinated chick could do both at the same time!! So I played the flute during concert season, and I totally pretended during marching season!

2. My junior year at LHS, I was on the soccer team. Yep, again, notice the wording. I didn't so much PLAY soccer; I was just on the team! Okay, so I'm not an athlete or a musician...but I'd love to be both! :)

3. Speaking of musicians, one thing I can't resist is a guy with a guitar. This has been true of me for years. Something about a guy with a guitar is just ultra sexy to me!! And if he can sing, too, whew, I better just leave the room! Haha!

4. I'm an ice cruncher. I love to eat ice. It's a habit I guess (and Steve would say a highly annoying one at that!).

5. I have a hard time with the ending of things. I don't know what my deal is. I just get emotional, and not just when it's the end of good stuff either. Even when things that make me miserable come to an end, I get all nostalgic and "sad-like."

6. Years ago, I actually debated flying to CA to meet a guy I'd been talking to over the internet/phone. Yep, I'm serious. If I only had the guts I could be living it up in San Fransisco today...or maybe he would have turned out to be an ax murderer, ya never know! This time I'm thankful to be a scaredy cat. I have my sweet Steve and my precious boys!

7. If I had the cash flow, I'd be driving a Dodge Charger. A Hemi at that! I know, it's not practical or whatever. But, you guys, I am a car girl at heart. Seriously. I denied it for years, but it's in my blood. It's an Isbell thing, and I've decided to embrace it! Haha! To be honest, I've even wished that I had spent some time under the hood with my Dad growing up. I don't know if I have the brain for it, but I actually think it would be fun to know how to work on a car. One of my best friends is fixing up a Corvette with his Dad, and I can't wait till they get that engine in and I can get my hands on that thing! Go ahead and laugh! :)

I know, I know!!

I know I've been tagged, and there's probably an unwritten rule on how I really shouldn't post anything else until I give you my useless information...but, ugh, I'm just too tired to think guys! Seriously. I can't even think of a good enough #1 that would make you read on to #2! How sad! I am absolutely loving the chance to read all of yours though, and I proooomise I'll get mine up. Even though they'll be nobody left to tag!

But right now I have to pack. We're taking Tyler camping tomorrow night for part of his birthday fun!! We're all really excited. Last time we camped was October, so Tony wasn't walking yet. I think it'll be a lot more fun this time! I'll put pictures up next week.

I have a TON of pictures I've been wanting to post, and it's all stuff that would be sooo much better with pictures that I don't want to just write about it. So I will have to remember to get the dang pictures off the camera so I can share them!

So to anyone still reading my blog, much blogger love and happy weekending! Look forward to 7 random facts about me in the very near future! :)

Hide & Seek

It's a game you'll never win if you're hiding from God. Guaranteed! I just praise Him for that wonderful and comforting Truth today!!

"Where can I go from Your Spirit?

Or where can I flee from Your presence?"

--Psalm 139:7

Psalm 139 is really too long to paste in the middle of a post here, but if you're not intimately aware of the context of the verse above, I encourage you to spend some time reading that chapter today...especially if you've ever found yourself playing hide and seek with the Lord.

We had our membership interview with several of the elders at CBC this morning. It turned out to be not nearly as pleasant as I'd hoped! God kept tugging at my heart and causing words to flow from my mouth that I, personally, could have done without sharing. At the same time, it was incredibly freeing to officially take off my "good little Christian" hat and just be real. It was less than comfortable, and I'm sure those dear men all feel like Steve got the raw end of the deal by marrying this outrageous sinner...and they may be quite right. Despite my honesty, they are welcoming us back into the local Body of Christ at CBC, and I am thankful beyond words to be there.

In case you haven't noticed lately, He is calling me to a life of transparency that is often painful and sometimes downright embarrassing. To be perfectly honest with you, I'm not sure I like the call. BUT, I am so incredibly overwhelmed by His grace at this moment in my life, that I cannot help but share with you that He is One who calls me from darkness into light. If all I ever write to you is light, if all I shared with the elders was His light in my life, I would be withholding the glory due His name! I am a fallen human being, and it is only by His grace that I can display any amount of light or joy or goodness.

Light is so much brighter when contrasted with darkness! And, friends, He has allowed me to walk in darkness in lots of way. You know what though? I couldn't hide there! I am His! Once His, always, always His. He let me walk so far, and then He called my name. I believe we can see that on a smaller, day to day, scale as well. As we are tempted, as we stick out our big toe and test the waters of sin, our gracious and loving Father calls to us. He wipes our dirty toe clean and helps us to shine for Him again.

I praise Him today because I cannot hide from His presence. There is no darkness that I can fall into that can permanently keep me from His loving arms. I am thankful for a church body that believes in the power of His grace enough to let me be ugly and real and still open their heart of fellowship to me.

We Are His Children

I've been a mom for four years now, and with the birth of my tiny, beautiful, completely helpless infant came a reality of new depth and amazing clarity concerning my relationship with the Lord, my Father. When Tyler was born, I suddenly understood how much I was loved. I saw, with brilliant wonder, the love my own earthly parents have for me and have shown me over and over and over through the years. I remember being so thankful for coming from an unconditionally loving family. But that's not the love that continues to stop me wide-eyed in my tracks. Only Love Himself can do that to me. And He does. He does it often these days. And for that, I can't begin to express my thanks. I simply give Him praise and hope that puts a smile on my Father's face.

This new understanding of love was really just the beginning. I'm consistently surprised, and pleasantly so, by all the ways God teaches me, and shapes me, and even disciplines me through my own kids. I have so many "important grown-up things" to do that I have a hard time getting around to the eternal ones. All too often I get so caught up in ME that I don't think about how God could use me to give Himself glory in the lives of others. I want the love! I want the glory! I want to guide the conversation! I have my own problems to solve! No, of course that's not what's really at the core of my heart. I belong to the Lord. If you could dissect my spiritual heart, you'd find Jesus. But I sure don't live every moment like that's the case.

Now I'm not saying my 4 yr old expresses selfless living in every moment of breath either (all you moms, give me an "AMEN!"), but God has really used him to remind me of what's important, to show me how to live. I just thought I was learning a lot from him in years past, but now it's a whole new ballgame. My child is a believer! He knows Jesus! Wow!! Having come to Christ as a teen, it just blows my mind that my preschooler can tell me about sin, salvation, and redemption. He may not use the bigger words, but he gets it! And a lot of times he gets it in ways that I fail to remember it. I pray his heart truly does belong to Jesus, cause I am living proof that once you're His there's absolutely no turning back. All I know for sure is that his foundation now is stronger than mine was when I accepted Christ as a teen.

Here's one tiny example of how God has communicated straight from Tyler's heart to my own...Ty's been invited for the first time ever to spend the night at a friend's house. He is sooooo excited!! It's ALL I've heard about since the idea came up a couple of weeks ago. Finally it's time, tomorrow night. He's completely excited about every little detail of this new adventure, but you'll never guess (or I wouldn't have anyway!) what he said tonight. Right in the middle of one of his "tomorrow night, tomorrow night, wooohoo" rambles, he said, "Hey, Mom, I'm going to tell Kevin about Jesus!" Wow! I know, he's 4, and he may not actually do it. It may not cross his mind again at all. But when he thought of all the great things he could share with his new friend, Jesus was one of them. (BTW, I do happen to know that Kevin has the opportunity of seeing the message of the cross lived out in his home on a daily basis, and I couldn't have hand picked a better place for Tyler's first sleepover!)

Those details aside, His message was clear to me tonight. We share so many things with our friends, but how often we put off sharing the most important thing! Or we make assumptions that they already know. Or we choose to associate with people that we're sure know so we don't even have to go there. God is making Himself known more and more in the life of my family, and I pray that just as He has grown the desire in us, He'll also grow our capacity to live in a way that reflects His glory and holiness. I pray we'll shine, and I pray we won't dim down His glory just because people we love don't want to see it. We are His children. I love to hear that my boys look like me. How it must please my Father when others look at me and see the resemblance!

Jehovah-Jireh Indeed!!

Have you ever been so amazed with the Lord that it completely exceeds words? Though consistently struggling in a lot of ways, that's where I've been lately. My heart is so full, and I am so grateful. I haven't written because I know I can't explain it. I can't possibly give Him the glory He deserves. What a poor excuse, huh? As if any of us can adequately display the glory of a holy and righteous God!

I want to share with you some of the ways God has provided for my family in the past couple of weeks. I've openly shared our financial problems and my struggle with giving back to God (I know, it's His already!) the tithe that He requires. From the depths of my selfish heart, I sincerely thank each of you who took the time to comment and encourage me on that tithing post. Partly because of you, I can say today that thus far we've been faithful to consistently give back a portion of the income He's entrusted us with since then. And you guys, the blessings have been innumerable!! Some have been financial and some have not, but they have all proven to be "far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think."

I long to write emotionally about each of these blessings, but my dear friends, those of you who really know me, know that I would be writing for days on end! So I've decided to share with you in a list type format (I know, thank me later!) the following ways that God and His people have filled me to overflowing with awe and thanksgiving in just the past couple of weeks...

1. I received THE coolest thing in the mail that I think I have ever gotten! It was an encouraging card from an anonymous friend filled with the hope of our Lord and a gift card to Wal-Mart. Hellloooo?? If you are reading this, THANK YOU! I don't think I've felt that happily surprised since I got my first pair of black patent leather shoes as a little girl (yes, I'm still a shoe fanatic!). I can also say that you have individually contributed to my family in a way that I promise you will have a lasting impact. What you gave me was another link in my ever strengthening chain of faith. Wow! May God bless you abundantly for your concern and generosity to this Sister in Christ, and I believe He will!

2. Many of you know that we've been back at Community Bible Church since January. It's where Steve and I were married 5 years ago, and it's the place that God has used over and over in my life to draw me to Himself and cause me to connect with Him in serious, life changing ways. (This is not a slap in the face of FBC by any means. That's a whole different story that I'll have to save for another night!!) Aaaanyway, we got a call from church and were told that another anonymous someone had left a check for us for $150!!! Now, I don't care who you are or how much money you have, that's a nice chunk of change to just anonymously give. If there is any chance that dear spirit is reading, THANK YOU from the bottom of my faith-filled heart...thank you for helping to fill me! Again, a gift that will last much longer than money. Blessings to you, heaps and heaps! (By the way, $150 was nearly the exact amount of tithe we'd given at that point.)

3. Our church has also offered to help us financially, and we have gratefully accepted. Did you get that? Our church offered. We didn't have to ask or apply or request or give them a copy of our budget or prove our crisis. We're not even officially back as members yet, and our local Body is stepping up to help meet our needs! Links, links, and more links on my chain of faith!!

4. Steve received one week of unemployment pay (my gooooodness, if you've ever had to go thru that then you know it's nothing short of a miracle...forget that he was actually out of work for two weeks!).

5. God's grown our childcare family by 2 (both absolutely adorable and pictured in other posts already).

6. We owe my parents about a million dollars. Okay, not really, but it feels like that! They have been more than patient with us, and I can't begin to express my gratitude for that! They are constantly helping out in little ways, too, that I hope they know do NOT go unnoticed. Thank you, Mom and Dad, for living out what you believe.

7. Steve's parents are nothing short of wonderful! I think the greatest gift they've given us in the very recent past was babysitting. We were able to enjoy a (late!) night out together. If you've been through financial struggles, then you know how quickly it can wear on a relationship. I love the ways that God is providing the opportunity for strengthening our marriage through this! Thank you, Teri and Albert, for allowing us to take the time out to be the calm for each other in the midst of this storm. Another gift that goes a loooong way!

8. That night out was also, in a lot of ways, a reunion with some very, very dear friends of ours. I love you both, and I'm forever grateful for the amazing grace that covers us, even binds us together.

9. A personal struggle of mine seems to be falling further and further from my heart as I grow in faith and trust in the One who made me, knows me like no other, and has the ability to fill me in every possible way.

10. GNO with my sister, Lisa! Wooohoo! I soooo needed that. Still reaping the benefits of this one, too! ;)

11. I was able to do some work for a dear teacher friend, and she was able to help me financially. Every time I get to dabble in her world I can't help but wonder if I'll ever get to teach. Aside from earning some extra money, I fully enjoyed shutting the world out for a few hours and playing school! As if that weren't enough, our brief chats were like water to my soul. You know I love you, and I'm grateful for every moment our paths cross.

12. I can FEEL the prayers of His people! There are those who've always prayed for my family and always will. Your reward is in heaven, and my love goes out to you always! In addition, my recent struggles have led me to talk to a few different people that I haven't really had the opportunity to be close to, and I have been blessed beyond words. Thank you for taking the time to walk alongside a lonely sheep.

13. Steve has a job now. It's not a "WOOHOOO" kind a job, but it's a job. He's back at Ingram, in the warehouse where we met 7 years ago. What's funny is that I think, in some ways, we're spiritually back there too. I don't mean we haven't grown since then...far from it! But we're back at CBC, and we're back in a position of what feels like accelerated growth. And, though completely exhausted, I am bubbling over excited about it?! Can you tell? :)

Well, I numbered them in the list format I promised, but I don't think it shortened me by much. Thanks for reading! I am so completely full of God's blessings right now that I could probably continue the list through the early morning hours, but I'd really like to be awake enough to give Him the praise He deserves in the morning. So I need to wrap this up. If I believed in luck, 13 would be my lucky number, so I'll end with that...

Lord, when you provide for your children you leave us lacking nothing. I am so thankful for the loss of Steve's job, so thankful for the circumstance that required total dependence on You! You are so faithful, so good, so loving. You are the healer of my broken, sinful heart, and as I've turned my pain over to you this month I've literally watched you put food in the mouths of my babies. Through the Church, Your Body, I've been held by Your arms, comforted and encouraged by Your words, and brightened by Your joy. I'm amazed, I'm excited. I can't wait to see where you take me from here. I commit to you, and before all who read these words, I'm Yours, I'm going with You, I'm fully accepting whatever you bring my way...for Your glory, Lord!

Praise Him For Today

Today

I've been

puked on, peed on,

kissed on, and hugged on.

I've been

screamed at, cried at,

smiled at, and laughed at.

I've been

the cause, the culprit,

the desire, and the fulfillment.

I've been

a janitor, a chef,

a chauffer, and a mechanic.

I've been

a preacher , a teacher,

a mother, a friend, and a lover.

Tonight

I am

used up, exhausted,

satisfied, and grateful.

Men

Let me just get this out... Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Okay, I feel better now.

At Least We Have Each Other

Okay, so this post isn't really about Zach and Brianna. It is about friends though, and I think these two friends are absolutely adorable!

I was having a really rough day yesterday. All the stress of financial things (and other stupid things) was getting to me, and for some unknown reason I had a house FULL of cry babies. I don't know what the deal was, but the kiddos just weren't happy yesterday at all. Busy weekends or something, I guess, I don't know!

Aren't friends just a wonderful cure to the grumpies though? My dear friend Christy came with her little ones for a surprise visit yesterday, and really, just seeing her made my whole day better!! And getting to fiiiiinally play with Maddie again kept a smile on Tyler's face for quite some time as well. He was delighted to find that Radlee is a "big boy" now, too, so he got to see TWO friends. I wish I'd thought to take some pictures yesterday (of the kids, not of me!!), but things were so crazy around here that it never even crossed my mind.

Anyway, I just wanted to send out a great big THANKS to all my friends!! I know that I can be bad (okay, really bad) about isolating myself at times, especially since I'm stuck at home alone with kids all day, but to those of you out there who've loved me anyway, stuck by me anyway, kept on talking to me anyway, thank you from the depths of my heart. I pray God will shower you with blessings, for I'm sure your kindness never goes unnoticed by the One who matters most.

Another Prayer Request

For the family of Rachel Olerud, a 12 yr old who lost her battle with cancer yesterday. I've never met this family, but my heart is completely broken for them. I know a lot of you attend FBC and are already praying, but I wanted to put this out there so others can join us. No such thing as too much prayer!!

You can read Rachel's story at www.caringbridge.org/visit/rachelolerud.

Please pray

To all of those who believe in the power of prayer, please join with me to pray for my Mamaw (my Mom's mom). She's been recovering from hip surgery, and I found out tonight that she's had to go back to the hospital for an additional surgery due to an infection from the first operation. Apparently it was pretty bad, and they are looking at possibly having to go in aaaagain to clean it out. They don't yet have the results from the culture on the infection, so the seriousness of that part is still up in the air.

She's in Mississippi (with most of our extended family on Mom's side), so also please pray that Mom will have peace in making the decision of whether or not (or when) she should travel back down there.

Thank you!!

Hey you

Yeah, you! I've got some cute pictures to share with you!

Here's a good example of the difference between a girl and a boy...

My one year olds are so much fun! They're so dramatic and silly!

And my nearly 4 yr old is so incredibly moody! I love our moments of drama and silliness. We do still have those, too. But he's just so hung up on being a "big boy." He's so stinkin' smart, and I love that about him!! He has even less patience than my little ones though, and I miss being able to take as many pictures of him as I want to! Now he makes it pretty clear when he's over it...in case you didn't notice! :)

Another Devotional to Share

Yep, it's Os Hillman again. If you can stand a quick self-evaluation, take a minute to read...

I have noticed three distinct types of believers throughout my 24 years of walking with Christ. First, many of us come to Christ out of a need for salvation. Our hearts have been touched by His call on our lives. We reason and analyze the claims of Christ and make a decision for Him. It is the convenient time to accept Him in our lives. This first stage is often characterized by a "Bless me, Lord" attitude toward God. It is the first stage that primarily brings salvation into our lives. Some never really go past this first stage.

The second stage is the crisis stage. A crisis takes place in our lives, and we are motivated to seek Christ with a whole heart. However, this motivation is not out of pure love for Christ; rather, it is motivated by the desire to get out of the pain of living. The motivation is to solve "the what" versus "the why" in my life at the time. This stage is best characterized as "Help me, Lord."

In the third stage we begin to experience the gospel of the Kingdom. It is the place where Jesus resided in His walk with His heavenly Father. It is the place of conviction. The number of people who live at this level are quite few, but these people are experiencing the reality of a walk with God that is foreign to all others. They are seeing daily occurrences of His involvement in their lives. They are motivated by a deep love for Him. They know Him. These people have an attitude characterized by these thoughts, "Have me, Lord; though He slay me, still will I trust Him."

Where are you today? Have you merely accepted His salvation to simply float along? Or do you seek Him with a whole heart only when a crisis occurs? His desire is for you and me to live a life of conviction, motivated by our love for Him and His love for us. This is where we will experience the gospel of the Kingdom.
__________________

You guys, I can't tell you how excited I am to be in the third stage today! I can't even begin to post on a blog the kinds of pain He has me in at the moment, but I can share with you that each and every way my heart is aching is continuously bringing me closer to the One who made me. Am I tired of the pain? You bet I am! But am I asking Him to take it away? Not anymore, and I mean that. If it takes pain to know Him, to see His hand the way I've been seeing it, then bring it on! Do you know the Lord like that? Do you count all else loss? Cleeeeaarly I'm not perfectly 100% devoted, ever. I know that. I'm still just a person with a sinful, evil, human heart. But seriously, friends, I love Him like I've never loved Him today, at this moment, in this season of my life...because I know Him like I've never known Him. Have you taken the time to know Him? Have you fallen in love with our Savior?

We've Got Another Cutie!!

How cute is he? Well, the first day he stayed with us, Tyler called him "the cutest baby eeeeever!" I told Ty he wasn't allowed to say that another baby is cuter than his very own baby brother!! :) I'll admit, Nathan's a doll though. I was a little nervous about taking on another baby, but God has blessed us once again with a child who has completely stolen my heart. Nathan is just adorable, and he has got to be the most predictable little one I've ever known! He's not full of patience, and he'll let you know when he needs something...but he's so easy to figure out that it's just no problem! Love it!

I've actually known Nathan's Daddy for a long time. He's the cousin of my forever friend, Amanda. Gotta say, though, it's his Mommy I see in this little guy all day. He and his Mom, Cortney, both have the absolute best smiles I think I've ever seen! I'll have to post one of Nathan's big grins when I catch one. He just figured out how to crawl, so he spends most of his day face down truckin' around on his hands and knees. Hopefully he'll soon find that the world is much more interesting if you keep your noggin up and look around as you travel! Helps you avoid running right into walls, too...well, it helps most people. I still tend to have that problem myself on occasion! :)

How Sweet

Here's Tyler with his new little "brother" Ian.

He's a big helper! :)

Doesn't he just look like trouble?

He's sneaky and defiant...and currently this Mommy's greatest challenge!! And it doesn't help that I apparently have less than half a brain! Well, less than a third of one yesterday. With 3 normally intelligent adults in the very same room, Tony managed to celebrate Easter by slicing his chubby little baby hand open on a metal trash can!!! Hellloooo?! I know, what kind of mother (or other 2 nameless relatives!) lets her kid play with a metal trash can?! Please don't report me! I'm pretty sure it was one of those popcorn tins you get at Christmastime turned trash can. Anyhow, he was pushing it around and fell. The dumb thing popped apart at the seam and sliced him right open. There was blood. I'm not good with blood. Not when it's coming out of my child! And it was enough to drip all over the floor as Steve carried him to the sink so my Dad could cover it with something. Blood. Dripping blood. Blood soaking quickly through the paper towels. I was freaked! Poor little man. I said, "It's okay, Tony. It's okay...OH NO, Daaaaad, it's so NOT okay!!" Yeah, I'm sure I was helping my child feel way better about the situation!

Sooo...we spent a couple of hours at the ER yesterday, without insurance on top of that! Thank God, though, it didn't do any serious damage to his hand. They decided not even to stitch it. They put the medical glue and steri strips on it, and we were on our way. Of course, that has to stay dry and not picked at for 3 days...thus the big club of a bandage we've got him wrapped in!

This is the part of having little boys that's really going to mess with this Mommy. It's not the blood itself that freaks me out. I know some people are like that. But for me, it's the terror that something seriously bad has just happened to my precious baby!

Unfortunately we haven't even paid the bill from Vanderbilt for Tony's last hospital visit, and now we've got another to add to our stack. I'm still so relieved and thankful that it wasn't anything worse, though, that I haven't really bothered to think about that too much yet!!

Financial Dilemma. Please Help...

Don't worry, I'm not posting a request for your money! :) I just need your advice...please! This may show my sad, failing faith in our ever faithful and gracious Lord, and I'm aware that I'm putting my ugly self out there for you to know and judge.

Having said that, here's the problem: if you've been reading this blog then you know we're in a desperate financial situation. And if you know us personally then you know we've been here more times than I feel like talking about, so you also know that we have NO savings to pull from. Here's the cool part...God has provided just enough money to pay the 3 things that HAVE to be paid this week and still buy milk and bread (don't worry, all my parents out there, I have enough groceries around here to adequately feed your children next week!!). If I pay those three things and buy just milk and bread, the money for the week is completely gone.

Notice what wasn't in the list? Yep, tithe. Soooo, there's my question. What would you do? Tithe and trust God will provide from some unexpected place in the coming week? Or thank Him whole-heartedly for providing for our needs, pay the bills, and see what happens next week.

By the way, I don't think I posted about it, but Steve did get a job. He started this week. It's a warehouse, lousy pay job, but it's a job.

Anyway, please be honest and leave us your thoughts. Thanks!!

Making a Fashion Statement

Uh? Who's that?

Brianna awoke from her nap to find a stranger in our house!

He's the newest little addition to our childcare family, Ian Paul Buckley!! Isn't he just adorable?! Ian's big brother, Zach, is my oldest (after Tyler), and he's teaching all the kiddos how to say "baby." The Buckleys are one of the sweetest families I've ever met. I'm really lucky to have their boys here with us! And Tyler is sooo excited about Ian. It's like he's getting to be a new big brother all over again. Have I mentioned that I LOVE my job? I'm so thankful that God has given me this opportunity...and filled my heart with Himself enough to make me realize what a huge blessing it is to have all these children in my life!